There is a stained glass window set above the piano at our church. It is a depiction of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, embracing a lamb. He is surrounded by sheep, but he is holding one small lamb. As I gazed at this vivid portrait from over the lid of the piano, I was reminded of the parable of the sheep who wandered off.

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.” Matthew 18:12-13 NIV

As I read this parable, I was struck by a whisper in my spirit:

“Liz, you are the sheep who wandered off…”

But my story doesn’t end there, and neither does the parable.

In Luke, it says that when he finds the sheep, “he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

I realised, I am not only the sheep who wandered off, but the sheep who was sought out and found.

Loved.

Celebrated.

Restored.

I was lost. Past tense.

So often, I place limitations on myself because of past mistakes. The inner monologue goes a little like this… You were like this, so how dare you think you can…

Found a ministry.

Write Bible studies.

Lead worship.

Preach?

This inner monologue was turned on its head one morning during my devotional time as I prepared for a ministry event. I was reading Matthew chapter 9 and the following account hit me hard:

‘While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:10-13 NIV

That last sentence reduced me to tears. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. Suddenly, his whisper washed over me, assuring me that I had not been called to ministry despite my past but because of it.

Like the lost sheep, Jesus celebrates because I wandered off. Like the prodigal son, I was dead but now I am alive.

“Then the son said, ‘Father, I was wrong. I have sinned against you. I could never deserve to be called your son. Just let me be—’

The father interrupted and said, ‘Son, you’re home now!’ “Turning to his servants, the father said, ‘Quick, bring me the best robe, my very own robe, and I will place it on his shoulders. Bring the ring, the seal of sonship, and I will put it on his finger. And bring out the best shoes you can find for my son. Let’s prepare a great feast and celebrate. For my beloved son was once dead, but now he’s alive! Once he was lost, but now he is found!’ And everyone celebrated with overflowing joy.” Luke 15:21-24 TPT

Like a Kintsugi bowl that is made more valuable, beautiful and resilient by the gold holding its broken pieces together, so we are celebrated by the King of kings and Lord of lords, Jesus Christ, when he brings the wanderer home, when we are restored through him. When he infuses our lives and brings healing to our brokenness, his golden light shines through us and we are made more valuable, beautiful, and resilient than we ever could have been before.

Sometimes those lies still penetrate my heart and try to make cracks in the new creation Jesus is forming me into. But when those lies try to derail me from the restorative path, I counter them the only way I can with the Sword of the Spirit – the very Word of God.

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. John 1:12-13 NIV

As children of the Most High God, we cannot listen to the lies of the enemy, the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. We must step into the calling God has placed on our lives as his child, thriving in his love and light. We cannot allow the testimony of the transformative work of Jesus Christ in our lives to be silenced. His mercy and grace in our lives ought to be celebrated, with all the glory going to him.

I was dead.

Past tense.

But now I am alive.

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

Luke 15:7 NIV